Mosquitoes Galore
by a mountain of gideon's scones
Summary: Myrnin is bored. So he decides to modify some mosquitoes and set them on an enemy. Crackfic. Thanks to LunaMoon2012 XD R&R please XD


_Inspired by my upcoming holiday to Spain._

_For Vitzy_.

_Thanks to LunaMoon2012 for Barty XD_

_**VICKY IS NOT HAPPY! MY FLIGHT HAS BEEN DELAYED TILL 9PM, SO I DON'T HAVE TO LEAVE FOR ANOTHER 4 HOURS, SO I HAVE NOTHING TO DO! :(**_

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Myrnin is bored.

Of course he is bored. He doesn't actually do anything to _stop_ him being bored. All he does is complain… and occasionally do an experiment that nobody actually cares about. He has never worked a day in his life, something which he usually brags about… but not today.

Even _Oliver_ has a job. Even _Oliver_ isn't bored. And the fact that Oliver isn't bored depresses Myrnin. So he decides to contemplate a little breeding.

In the corner of his lab, there is a little pot of mosquitoes, ones that he was going to use to suck on Claire's blood when she sleeps at the lab sometimes in the middle of an experiment but was forbidden by Amelie because, well, mosquito bites aren't nice. And an unhappy Claire usually spells disaster.

But Oliver… Amelie never forbade him from setting them on _Oliver_… true, he'll need to edit them slightly so that they'll feed on his blood as because the way that the mosquitoes are at the minute, they're cousins with the vampires. Not very nice little cousins – rather pesky – but cousins all the same.

He rubs his hands together in glee as he locks the door so that Amelie can't come annoy him, whining about her love for Sam or whatever, and smashes his phone to smithereens so that Claire can't bug him about not wanting to work today.

With a wicked expression, he lifts the cage of mosquitoes over to the lab bench and begins to do things that we do not want to know about to them… making them only want Oliver's blood.

… a few hours later …

Oliver is working in his café and is really bored. He's so bored, he hates to admit, that a little slagging off match with Myrnin could be rather fun. Human girls keep trying to kiss him and ask him questions about his sex life, which isn't very funny and it almost hurts him to think of Barty growing back. The vampires in the room keep asking him how small Barty is now, which is rather depressing… but he's more bored than anything else.

He strolls through the room and spots a strange sight in the distance. Myrnin is heading towards Common Grounds in the middle of the day, at the head of this strange blurry thing in the background. There's loads of little things behind him, that look like mosquitoes… but they can't be. Amelie banned Myrnin from buying the 10,000 mosquitoes he wanted to buy so that he could take over some abandoned building in the back of Morganville and breed cross creatures…

So… maybe Myrnin lied to himself about why he ordered the mosquitoes… and why Amelie banned him from having them. He isn't sure. Honestly, he doesn't really care but he knows that he wants to go into Common Grounds with his genetically modified mosquitoes to suck Oliver dry.

The door opens and Oliver can hear the flopping smacking sound of Myrnin's slippers. _What is that fool doing now_? He thinks as Myrnin walks further into the café, his clothing looking almost like a Victorian woman's dress, which isn't particularly flattering.

As he looks up from the expresso machine he hovered behind to hide himself from the Barty well wishers – he almost wishes he had never mentioned Barty to Myrnin or anyone else – he sees that they _are_ mosquitoes and that either there has been a plague of mosquitoes in Texas or Myrnin has broken the rules.

"You broke the rules, I'm going to tell Amelie!" Oliver calls across the room, none of the humans listening because they all want to see him dance because Myrnin told them that he is a world class hiphop dancer.

"Tell Amelie what?" Myrnin flutters his eyelashes innocently, silently happy that he modified the mosquitoes so much that only he and Oliver can now see them. But that sort of depresses him in a way because it means that he, at the head of his mosquito army, can't be seen.

He just looks cool on his own.

But he guesses that that is good enough.

"That you ordered the mosquitoes," Oliver says, already grabbing his phone so he can call his one time lover – he still has her number saved as 'my love of my life' – and sprag on Myrnin to her. "You _know_ she told you not to!"

Myrnin looks bemused as he talks. "Dearest Oliver, what on _earth_ are you talking about? There are no mosquitoes!"

And now, he realises with a grin, he is making Oliver feel as if he is going delusional as well… it's always a bonus, he thinks with relish. So, he has the mosquitoes to hurt Oliver badly as well as making Oliver appear as if he is crazy to the entire world… well, café.

"I… I see them behind you!" Oliver protests, dropping the phone onto the worktop and sighing deeply. Then he lets a little tear fall from his eye onto the floor as he wonders whether or not he is seeing things. Perhaps the drugs he took in his youth were in too much of a quantity, so he has eternally got the symptom of hallucinating. Perhaps _Myrnin_ is the sane one of the pair of them.

Myrnin turns around and is careful to avoid touching the mosquitoes: he may have modified them to want to drink Oliver's blood only and rip into his flesh, but he still doesn't want to run the risk of his perfect face being disfigured by _monsters_.

So he ducks and backs out of the way, standing by his old buddy Sam who he brought back to life the other week in the midst of another pointless experiment that actually worked. It alleviated the boredom for a bit because he managed to blackmail Amelie into letting him get $400,000 worth of equipment for the lab by threatening to bring back Bishop from his little pot of remains.

"My friends," Myrnin says with a wicked grin, bored of the build up to the mosquito attack. "Avarse! Attack!" he screeches, grinning as an invisible army of buzzing mosquitoes make their way to Oliver. He can see the attack, the black army heading towards him, and he ducks and screams.

Of course, the scream is like a girl's.

The entire audience in Common Grounds can't see anything, naturally since they're invisible, and splutter as Oliver finds himself thrown to the floor by the thick 10,000 strong mosquitoes, their little fang things sinking into his skin as if it was whipped cream.

He screams again and Myrnin jumps up and down for joy, no longer bored as he sees Oliver being attacked by his little baby mosquitoes. A little tear forms in his eyes as he realises that he has taught them well: some of the mosquitoes he raised from little baby mozzies to be like this!

"Should we help?" one worried girl asks as she sees little red blotches appearing over the rapidly paling body of the man who is being attacked by invisible mosquitoes.

"Nahh, he's fine," Sam says, not knowing what Myrnin has done. Myrnin smiles a little guiltily as he sees Oliver flailing, but the happiness at seeing Oliver like this makes up for it. He's so _happy_; he's almost jumping about the café like a lunatic who forgot to take his medication… oh yeah, he did!

Within three minutes, Oliver seems to have lost the fight against the mosquitoes, who are now full of his blood. He doesn't have much left and the people in Common Grounds run over to see him in his final moments.

All besides Myrnin, however; the excitement of attacking Oliver with mosquitoes has sort of worn off, so he is bored again. Therefore, he whistles to his mosquitoes, who slowly come to him – they're a little full – and he walks down the road with his flopping flip flops, back to the lab.

"Into your cage," he croons, talking to them like he did to his old spider Bob… who is hurt that he doesn't get attention anymore. He doesn't give them any food as they just ate Oliver, and the boredom creeps over him again.

That entire stunt only took like six hours! What does he do _now_?

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_Thoughts?_

_Don't favourite without reviewing please._

_Vicky xx_


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